First Impression Does Matter

The world is changing and we need to change with it. As realistic as this statement is, a lot of us tend to misuse it and one of such is the vast changing belief that ‘’how I look doesn’t matter, I know I’m a good person blah blah blah’’. 

While I agree with the fact that what people look like shouldn’t be used as a determinant to judge their character, I can’t help but decide immediately when I see certain people dressed in certain ways. Friendly reminder I’m not a saint, but I like to believe I’m a good person as we all like to tell ourselves to help us feel better. Instead of trying real hard to convince you, I’d tell you a short story from my experience.

I’ve been going from home to school for a while and I tend to come back late. Taking night buses home between the hours of 7pm to 9pm is as blissful as well as stressful. On one of such days, I boarded a bus from LASU gate to Agbara bus stop along Lagos-Badagry Expressway where I live. Usually after boarding a bus, I’d use my phone, plug my earpiece and start playing songs and start checking what I missed on Twitter, Instagram and the likes. However on this blessed day, the conductor of the bus was looking really rough with the usual stud in his left and right ears, his shorts were below his butt line and he smelled like he took his bathe in a tub of dry gin. Subconsciously my defense mechanisms came up – not the John Wick kind ejor, I can’t fight but I didn’t use my phone, I sat up straight preparing for the worse, I looked around every minute, I lowkey started reciting Qurisiyyu, the point is I was very uncomfortable. I could hear my Dad saying I told you not to move at night in my head lol.

The bus moved from bus stop to bus top and a conversation ensued between the passengers in the bus, the driver and the conductor. On a normal day I wouldn’t be listening but since I was very uncomfortable, I sat in silence and listened. Apparently while I was lost in my own world the conductor had accepted a passenger who didn’t have money to pay and the driver was really really really pissed off, emphasis on the pissed off because he was spitting Yoruba bars like an Ibile rapper lol. The driver was complaining that his conductor liked to help people unnecessarily and it was bad for his business, the conductor tried to defend himself but the driver didn’t give him the opportunity to, the passengers had to interfere. The driver insisted that the passenger he helped dropped down but the passengers appealed and eventually succeeded in calming him down, while this was happening, I watched in awe and was feeling really bad that I judged him without even realizing it.

The point is, when people look at you without even knowing who you truly are, their first instinct is to decide if you’re good for them or not, and this happens subconsciously most of the time. I for one do not like to be judged, no one does and as much as a lot of us like to act like we don’t give two fxxks, we’re wired to. It’s one of the many things that make us human. This isn’t me making an excuse for my bad behavior, it’s me accepting it and since then I’ve tried not to make split minute decisions about people.

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What do you think?

How would you react in my shoes?

Please share your views.

P:S: Please do not move at night unless you have to, don’t make it an habit.